Its been rough lately. So very rough. I'm lost in a quiet transitition from who I was to whom I intend to be. I couldn't calculate how far I've gotten, I only know that I fall back into that which I wish I could leave behind. I do not expect to lose this battle though.
The taste I though I'd kill for
Still lingers on my lips.
..It was here I stood, swallowed by an emptiness that all but begged to drown. It was here you stained me with the blood of something precious that you may have killed yourself. It was here that you kissed me, a rush of heat that wrapped my body and refused its desires for something more. So it was here that you killed me softly, in all your stains and your heat, and my emptiness. How gently you pressed me to death, and how perfectly you reacted to my dying. You stood there, in a silent mediation between shock and tears. And you prayed. You suddenly believed in God and you asked for my safety. How pretty you looked, washed in desperation, down on your left knee and reaching out to save me. I was distracted by the levity of the situation and slipped further into somewhere else. You noticed, and pretended another effort before turning your back. It was a show for they who were watching. Them, whom I so utterly despise, and you so strongly respect. I thought you loved me more than yourself, more than them. Oh, but however pretty you looked as a struggling hero, you were past beautiful in false love. Come out of character and tell me who you really are so that I can run as far as death will allow.
Selfishly, I want to understand everything he does, and why he may
But I'd rather him be left in the dark
Because he's stolen the only thing I've ever undrestood
And replaced it with something less strong
I don't want what I had back
Just the promise that he can handle it
I was not born tame
And I never intend to lose my wild
My mind is like rush hour and I can't see my destination.
Or where I've come from.
Which makes it hard to find myself again.